The Night Time Report

So I think we all know that Chris does this middle-of-the-night thing where he gets all stressed out and gets up on his hands and knees in the bed and . . . well, I guess I don't really know what his plan is after that.  Mostly that's as far as we get before I wake up and, like a good Pet Parent, tell him to lay down.  Sit.  Good boy.

"I haven't gone up on my hands and knees for a long time!" Chris says to me, proudly.

"Dude.  You did it last night."

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one awake over here.

In the middle of the night.

"I did?"

"Yes.  Last night.  And also last week."

"Oh.  I don't remember that."

"Well I do."

At least last night he laid down quietly.  Last week when he did it he fought me on it.

*rustle rustle rustle*

"Chris.  Lay down."

*hovering on hands and knees*

"Chris.  Lay DOWN."

"Why?"

"What?  Shut-up.  Because that's what we do in bed. Lay down."

*hovering on hands and knees*

"LAY DOWN."

"Why do I have to lay down?"

"Are you kidding me with this? Because I said so.  You are legitimately turning into a fourth child here with this."

He did eventually lay down, but only after a bunch more suspicious, squinty-eyed, "Whys?"

On a brighter note, Chris and I finally accepted that Lilly was incapable of keeping both her body and her blankets in bed all night without the toddler railing.  After two months of waking up to retrieve her blankets / body from the floor of her room three or four times a night, believing that, surely, eventually, she would figure this out, we now understand that, no, she will not figure it out.

So we put the railing back up and it's like back when the baby started sleeping through the night.

Mostly because the baby started sleeping through the night.

It is bliss.

If only Chris would lay down.