Monday, March 30, 2015

These kids watch the infomercials

The kids have a LOT of fundraisers at school.  It is almost worth Lilly's tuition to not have to participate in all the godforsaken fundraisers.

In addition to the ones designed to support the school, there are a number for specific charities.

One day, the kids got one for Heart Disease.

I think.

It could have been Thyroid Disease or possibly The Gout.

Anyway, we were in the car and Sam asked when we were going to start soliciting donations.

"Sam, I'm not sure we are going to participate in this fundraiser.  There are a lot, and we only have so many friends and family.  We can't ask them for money all the time.  We have to choose something that is important."

"Mom," he says, shaking his head in disappointment, "this IS important.  People are dying out there."

He was apparently paying attention at the school assembly.

"Yeah, Mom." Owen pipes in, "And also you can get a rubber duck dressed like a fireman!"

And this is my little friend

Owen has a little friend at school, and she happens to be a girl.  This apparently results in some amount of teasing, but they've stuck it out so far.

She writes him notes.  The only he brought home yesterday said:

O - outstanding!
W- wears red
E - eats hot lunch
N - neat!

Which is pretty much Owen in a nutshell, right?  That red-wearing, hot-lunch-eating, outstanding kid!

She invited him over for a play date a few weeks back.  We have emphatically NOT returned the invitation because we are social degenerates.

But the day he went over to her house, I was a work and it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'd forgotten to tell him not to show her his junk.

Shit.  Shitshitshit.  I felt pretty confident that, without plenty of practice, Owen would FOR SURE expose himself.  Without a doubt.

I was so certain that I planned my speech to the other mom, about how he wasn't sexually harassing as much as he was just a kid who really liked his penis to share in his life experiences.

But she didn't say anything when I picked him up.

So that was a relief.

Also, today, I was watching through the window as the kids were playing in the front yard with the neighbor girl and Owen totally flopped his penis right out.

In the front yard.

Just flopped it right out.

So I still need to have that talk with him.