Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Hurricane Sandy Devastation

Hurricane Sandy caused a fair amount of damage at our house, but the thing that pisses me off the most, bar none, is that it knocked the lid off the sandbox and now the sand that we worked REALLY EFFING HARD to keep clean and dry is water-logged.

You may have lost your house and car, but MY SANDBOX.

The sand is ruined, and I don't know what to do about a stupid moldy heavy-ass lump of sand.  As evidenced by the previous watery, moldy, sandbox that is still sitting RIGHT NEXT to the new sandbox.  Soon we're just going to have a line of toxic sandboxes across the backyard.

There is no sandbox insurance.

Angry Moms

So I'm being vegan right now, which basically means that I alternate between feeling super hip and like I want to kill you and make you into a hamburger and eat you.  With bacon.

That said, I may be been the teensiest bit grumpy while picking this kids up this evening.  I got Owen first, and on his own, he's pretty chill.  I mean, sometimes he'll get me with his, "Today is the first day of yesterday when it rains, right?  Right, mom?  And it's going to be Christmas next year because of my birthday and you said Lilly was a toddler now, right?  Right, mom?

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.  But, yes, right, just shut up or ask logical questions.

And then I picked up Sam and he introduces a level of hysteria that seems unnecessary in a sedan.

But you don't have a complete trifecta until you've added Lilly and her ear-splitting shrieks.

Sam and Owen are SO EXCITED.  I don't know about what.

"Guys?  Can you please stop shouting?"


(That's them, having devolved into purposeless screaming)

"GUYS!  Quiet down!  You're making me a little crazy!"


"SERIOUSLY STOP SCREAMING SO LOUD!"  Even while I'm doing it, the irony of screaming at people to stop screaming is not lost on me.

And then they LAUGH at me.

As much as I WANT to punch them, I can't while I'm driving.

"Guys, do NOT laugh at me when I am being serious.  It makes me furious."

"It makes you serious?" Owen asks.

"No, she said 'furious,' Sam leans over and whispers, "It's the last level of anger."