Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Angry Moms

So I'm being vegan right now, which basically means that I alternate between feeling super hip and like I want to kill you and make you into a hamburger and eat you.  With bacon.

That said, I may be been the teensiest bit grumpy while picking this kids up this evening.  I got Owen first, and on his own, he's pretty chill.  I mean, sometimes he'll get me with his, "Today is the first day of yesterday when it rains, right?  Right, mom?  And it's going to be Christmas next year because of my birthday and you said Lilly was a toddler now, right?  Right, mom?

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.  But, yes, right, just shut up or ask logical questions.

And then I picked up Sam and he introduces a level of hysteria that seems unnecessary in a sedan.

But you don't have a complete trifecta until you've added Lilly and her ear-splitting shrieks.

Sam and Owen are SO EXCITED.  I don't know about what.

"Guys?  Can you please stop shouting?"


(That's them, having devolved into purposeless screaming)

"GUYS!  Quiet down!  You're making me a little crazy!"


"SERIOUSLY STOP SCREAMING SO LOUD!"  Even while I'm doing it, the irony of screaming at people to stop screaming is not lost on me.

And then they LAUGH at me.

As much as I WANT to punch them, I can't while I'm driving.

"Guys, do NOT laugh at me when I am being serious.  It makes me furious."

"It makes you serious?" Owen asks.

"No, she said 'furious,' Sam leans over and whispers, "It's the last level of anger." 

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