We were sitting by a pond, Lilly and I, and she says to me, "Mom? Isn't this so peaceful? Don't you want to stay here for hours?"
And I absolutely did. Except my hips are too old to be sitting around on the ground like that.
"Mom? What would you want to be: a hippo, a duck, or an apple?"
Do you know how many years of my life I have spent answering questions like these at this point? Sooooo many.
"I would say definitely a duck."
"DAD. DAD! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE A HIPPO A DUCK OR AN APPLE?"
Lilly. Remember the peaceful?
"Oh, a hippo. That's a no-brainer."
"Chris, that's absurd. Who wants to be a hippo? What is even remotely appealing about being a hippo?"
"Dude, if I was a hippo I would crush you like a bug!"
"Hippos just look like giant stomachs or some other internal organs lying around in mud. A duck can fly, swim and walk. Again, the duck is obviously the better choice."
"Hey, if you had to be a girl duck, you would have LAY EGGS."
"Um, yeah, but if I had to be girl hippo, I'd have to give birth to a HIPPO."
"Fair enough. I still think ducks get shot at a lot, and nobody wants to mess with a hippo."
And that's how we spent a beautiful Sunday by the pond.