Chris told me my last post was "kind of harsh."
I mean, I know one of the benefits of having a life partner is the unwavering support but sometimes it's suffocating, right? Like, back off, man, I already know I'm awesome, you don't have to keep TELLING me. I do think it's cute the way he uses code words like "harsh" when he means "hilarious" and "didn't get it" when he means "highly entertaining."
So apparently I should try harder to be nice. And more funny.
. . . .
Okay. I just tried that for a minute and I didn't like it. When you come over to MY blog, you get you get and you don't get upset.
I rule with an iron fist. My kids know it, now you know it too.
Besides, being nice makes me itchy.
Seriously, if you want yacky stuff like kindness and gratitude, I'm sure you can find that in one of the 18 bazillion OTHER blogs out there. If you are here, it is because you know me so you should know what I'm like. Sometimes mean, mostly funny. With a hint of boring and a trace of whiny.
On Tuesday I let Owen have a drink of my water, even though I knew he had a cold. I told myself I would just get a new glass. But then I forgot to and then I got thirsty so I threw caution to the wind and just continued to drink my water. And now I have a cold.
I tell you that little story to illustrate how laziness leads to a lot of bad choices on my part. I should know better. I, in fact, DO know better, and I make these choices anyway. And then I suffer the consequences.
For my next story you need to understand my work parking situation. There is a lot RIGHT outside our door where we are NOT supposed to park. We sometimes do anyway, but we know we're not supposed to do it and one time I got caught and I got a parking ticket for over a hundred dollars. We are supposed to park in the garage that is 357 steps away, through a wind tunnel, and ONLY on the top (open to the elements, up five flights of stairs) floor.
But yesterday I was tired. The baby has compromised my lung space. It was cold. So I parked in the lot. I knew I shouldn't . . . but I hadn't done it in like TWO MONTHS. And I was TIRED. And it was COLD.
And then it turned out that many of my colleagues who had parked in the appropriate, approved, and less convenient garage got parking tickets. For the first time since I started here, they actually looked for the little sticker and ticketed all the people who didn't have a little sticker on their car. I no longer have the little sticker on my car. I would have gotten a ticket. But I didn't. Because I was lazy, and parked in the lot.
I'm uncomfortable with that kind of good fortune.
It makes me feel itchy.