I took Sam to the store the other day. While there, it became clear that I was going to need a bathroom break (I need that a lot these days). The bathrooms in this store are the kind that is just one big room with a locked door, so I had to take Sam in with me. Rather than leave him to wander the store alone, you know.
As I sat down to pee, Sam said to me, “When you grow up you can learn to pee standing up like me and daddy.”
I told him, “No, girls don’t pee standing up.”
Because they are not as lazy as men.
No, really I said, “Because girls don’t have a penis.”
“YOU DON’T HAVE A PENIS?!”
. . . Pause . . .
“You just got a butt?”
At that point I didn’t really know where else to go. So I just said, “Well, yes. Basically.” I figure we’ll have the whole vagina talk later. When our girl baby gets here.
Sometime when I’m not using the toilet.