It's a slow day at work today. Mostly because the crazy lady who put herself in charge of the office is on vacation, so I'm acting like an unsupervised child.
So, but, yeah. The internet is BOR-RING. Fortunately, while checking my email for the third time (by 11:00 a.m.), I accidentally clicked on an old folder of correspondence with Chris, from about the time that Sam was born, before I got a job and abandoned him to the mercies of daycare. I've cutted and pasted my favorite missive to Chris below. I think it's especially funny to read these as I'm about to embark on the whole "newborn adventure" again.
Dear C. Haggerfield,
As one of our elite patrons, we would like to offer you a special promotion. As a thank-you for being a valuable husband, we would like to offer you, free of charge, a rare, out-of-production "Baby Don't Wanna Sleep." This model is no longer being made and cannot be found in stores unless it has been left there by the previous owner. This model also has the exclusive "Hiccups All The Time" feature. Remember, this offer is only to you and / or any friends or loved ones, or strangers off the street who would be willing to take advantage of this once in a morning offer.