Today's title. It's a thing. A YouTube thing. It's a song. Has nothing to do with children.
Except that it is the soundtrack to my LIFE.
It used to be Sam. He'd be all, "Why do octopuses have 8 arms?" "Why do we have to have policemen?" "What makes a vegetable healthy?"
And these questions? Drove me crazy. What do I look like? An encyclopedia Is my last name Britannica? How about "Because. And Because. Also Because." I don't have time to write a dissertation, man, so how about you just go watch some TV?
But Owen has his own special spin. Things like, "Why are horses purple?"
"What? They aren't. I can't tell you why because they aren't."
"You don't know?"
"No, I do know know."
"No, there is no why. I can't tell you why because your initial statement was untrue. I can't explain something that isn't actually part of reality."
"It's because it makes them faster, right, mom?"
"No. Because that doesn't even make any sense. Even if they were purple, which they aren't, it wouldn't make them any faster."
"Purple horses aren't faster?"
"No. I mean, again, horses aren't purple, but even if they were, being purple, in and of itself, wouldn't make them any faster."
"Faster than what?"
"What? I don't know. You said that. You brought up faster."
"So they are slower?"
"No. I mean, not unless you're assuming that because they are purple, these horses are some special type of horse that moves at a different speed, either faster or slower. Which I don't, because horses aren't purple. That I know of. Although probably, someone, somewhere, has dyed a horse purple. So there has probably, in the history of the world, been a purple horse that was neither faster nor slower than any other horse, at least not in relation to being dyed purple, it would have been that speed beforehand as well."
"All the purple horses died?"