Sunday, April 13, 2014

Double Standards

I'm sitting here with Sam as he reads a book before bed.

We've been having problems making sure that Sam gets to bed at a reasonable hour now that he is in the attic.  Also when he gets obsessive about a book.

Didn't see that one coming.  Had no genetic warning there.  Obsessive?!  Reading?!  Us?!

Anyhow, he said that one way we could solve this would be to get him a watch.

Because the clock next to his bed isn't sufficient?

So he leans over and asks me, "Mom?  Do you wear your watch to while you are sleeping?"

"Yes, Sam."

"Ok.  I wasn't sure if it was a thing you could wear while you are sleeping.  Like your necklace, and how you never wear a necklace to sleep."

Ummm.  ""Sam, I wear my necklace while I sleep."

He turns and stares at me for a minute.

"Mom?  I don't think that is a good idea.  You said we shouldn't sleep with things around our necks in case we strangle ourselves.  And now I'm worried you are going to strangle yourself."

I'm not sure how to explain this to him, except that it seems totally reasonable to simultaneously not allow my children to wrap things around their necks, while wearing a necklace to bed myself.  Hadn't even occurred to me to feel like a hypocrite.

So I went with the standard, rephrase-as-if-it-is-an-explanation strategy.  "It's okay for grown ups to wear necklaces to bed, but not kids, Sam."

He narrows his eyes at me, and considers.  

Finally, he says, "Mom?  I'm still worried about it.  But I have a plan.  I will listen out for noises at night like you are choking.  Then, I will come down here and I will try to wake Dad up.  I may have to dump his water bottle on his head, and that will make him angry, so I will only do it if it is an emergency, like when you are choking on your necklace."

"That's quite a plan, Sam."

"I know.  I had to think about it back when you were gone over night one time.  I was worried about Dad, because he is not as good at waking up."

Okay, two things here.

1) Stop worrying so much, Sam.
2) Hahahahaha.  BURN, Chris.

In the end, I told him that I would refrain from wearing a necklace to bed, despite my proven track record of not dying from a necklace.  I don't think he needs to worry about that.

Moral dilemma: If you tell your child you won't wear a necklace to bed so that he doesn't worry about you strangling yourself, do you actually have to stop wearing a necklace to bed?

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