Baby Talk

Lilly and her cousin were playing together today. They were playing House - but this was apparently a sister wives household because there were no husbands to be seen and they referred to each other as "sister."  As in, "sister, go get the stroller for Baby."

Oh, yes, there were also babies. Babies who would never suffer at the hands of their parents the way these girls had.

"Sister, I tried to put Baby down for a nap, but she does not want to take a nap. And because we want to be kind to our baby, we would never make her take a nap if she doesn't want to, right?"

"Oh, absolutely, Sister.  And what should we make her for dinner? Because we love her and would only want her to have foods that she enjoys."

It was just, like, burn after burn on Parents who have Rules or Limits.



Later, Lilly was discussing family planning with me.

"Why doesn't Aunt Gail have kids?"

"I'm not sure, Lilly.  It's just the way her life went."

"Because her body wasn't healthy enough to have kids?"

Yes, that is exactly what I said.

"I don't think that was the reason, Lilly.  I think she just decided that she didn't want to have kids."

"Because she lives in Florida and they would always be begging to go to the beach?"

Yes, that is exactly what I said.

"She probably had some other reasons for not having kids. Also, she didn't always live in Florida."

I thought that would buy me a change in subject, but no.

"How did she not have kids?"

"She just don't have them," I respond, not wanting to discuss my aunt's potential forms of birth control.

"Did she take a pill?"

Goddamnit. Which one of you is having The Talk with Lilly?  Because either stop, or do a good enough job that she isn't coming to me with follow up questions.

"People can.  And sometimes people have to take pills to have a baby, but mostly it just happens for people and do you want to go eat a brownie?"

"Yes.  But I would prefer to get a baby because I am tired of being the only girl, and sleeping by myself."