Do you even Math, bro?

Chris and I bought a new car recently.

To be completely honest, we bought a new minivan.

The old one had leprosy, I think, because it was falling apart.

So we went to look at a Toyota Sienna at a nearby Mercedes-Benz dealer, where they had classical music playing, and coffee made from freshly ground beans, and the salespeople were almost too handsome to gaze upon, and one of them was even from Scotland, and his eyes looked into my soul.  They printed out a piece of paper with the price break-down, and, when we said we had to go think about it, they wished us well.

But we didn't want that car.

So we drove up the street to a place that had a Town and Country we wanted to try out.  We walked in the door and there were five skeevy guys, waiting to pounce on customers.  Vlad got to us first, and while waiting for the car to be readied, he showed us pictures of his hairless cat, assault rifle cabinet, and knife collection.  When we were discussing numbers, it was scribbles of unlabeled numbers in green marker on a blank piece of paper.  When we said we had to go think about it, he called the manager over and tried to continue to negotiate.

But we did want that car.

So Chris and I talked and decided on a price we could live with.  We went back in and told them the number, and the number of months we were willing to pay that number for, extrapolating from that the applicable amount that would be paid every month.

They go over to the corner and discuss.  They come back with another green marker sheet.

"It is the number you wanted!" they say.

Oh, good!, I think.  But then I see Chris tapping the sheet - right where the number of payment months is 12 more than we indicated we were willing to pay them.

"Yes, but see, that is for many more months," Chris points out.

"But it is the monthly payment you wanted!" they say.

So, but, here's the thing. We live in a glorious age of humankind.  CALCULATORS.  ON OUR PHONES, even.

"Okay, with those extra months, though, it is like a million more dollars than we told you we were willing to pay for the car."

And then I told them they could take their little green marker and stick it where the sun don't shine

Not really.  Really, it was the end of the day, though, and these people clearly wanted to go home.  They capitulated so quickly, coming back with a typed up sheet that they would have had no time to actually type up, that I realized they were just going through the motions.  I suddenly understood that these people probably literally had a written protocol about how to con people into paying more.  It likely includes focusing on the monthly payment instead of total, and making people believe you really want their trade in.  I think the color of the marker is individual choice. 

So, it felt a little gross, but we are now owners of a new-to-us minivan.