Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Well. This is weird.

So. I'm not pregnant anymore. That's kind of weird.

I mean, I spent approximately 245 days where EVERY day was a challenge. I didn't get through this pregnancy day-by-day, I got through it hour-by-hour. And there are a LOT of hours in 245 days.

And, as uncomfortable as it was, you do something for that long and you kind of get used to it. I was accustomed to spending hours thinking about what clothes I had that could possibly contain my massive girth. I had grown used to having people stare at me whenever I went out in public. Seriously, on the Friday after my due date I was walking down the street and I literally almost caused a car accident because drivers were so distracted. And THEN, less than a block later, a woman came screaming OUT OF A STORE because she had seen me and had to know how many babies I was carrying.

You become very noticeable when you are vastly pregnant. I was used to being noticed. And the concerns of a vastly pregnant woman are all consuming: When is the baby coming? Will I make that meeting? Do I have any clean shirts that will cover my belly? No? How about dirty? Any shirts at all? Will my back pain permit me to stand and walk right now? Also, what's for eating around here?

And then BOOM. All of a sudden, not pregnant anymore. The things I devoted 95% of my energy to are no longer applicable. Labor and delivery are over. Definitely not going to make that work meeting. Lots of shirts fit me now (or, at least provide full coverage). People don't stare when I go out. Still, though, what's for eating around here?

It took me a lot of energy and hours, days, weeks, to make this baby, and a lot of energy but only one day to shove said baby into this world.

And boy, is it weird what that does to your body. After I had the baby and I stood up (not the first time where I stood up and passed out, but the second time where I stood up and managed to retain consciousness), my internal organs were all "WHOA! Wheee! I'm FREE!" And I'm out here all like, "NO! Not free, internal organs! Calm it down in there! Everybody settle down!" It was like the way the boys ping-pong around their room when it's bedtime. My organs didn't want to LAY DOWN WITH YOUR HEAD ON YOUR PILLOW!

The way my organs flopped around in celebration of their newly re-acquired space is a truly peculiar sensation.

It's been two weeks now. My blown veins are healing, my belly is shrinking down a bit, the carnage dealt to my down-there area is subsiding.

Basically, I'm becoming normal again. Rejoining the ranks of all you people who are not currently creating life in your bodies.

And it is AWESOME.

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