Sunday, August 16, 2015

Go fish injustice

This is my kids playing go fish:

"Do you have a seven?"

"No, Go Fish! Do you have a four?"


Much laughter, good times had by all.

But, oh how swiftly the tides of fate turn.

"Do you have a five?"

"No!  Wait.  Yes I do.  Why would you ask for that?  Fine. Here, have the five. Do you have a two?"

"The hell?  You're going to ask me for a two just like that?  Just like, coincidentally, I have one and you just happen to ask for one?  You know what, just take the goddamned two.  I hope you're happy.  Do you have a six?"

"Are you being serious with me right now?  How fucking dare you?  You are dead to me. Take the six and choke on it and die. I don't know how you sleep at night.  Do you have an eight?"

"Do you miss your soul after you've sold it to the devil?  We are no longer family, you soulless bastard.  Some day, you are going to wake up alone, strung out on the high of Go Fish, and you're going to miss your family, but it's going to be too late because the pain you're causing today is irreparable. Enjoy your eight. I hope it can take care of you in your old age. Do you have a five?

"No.  And even if I did have one, I wouldn't use it to feed the fire standing between you and certain death by freezing."

"You cheating whorebag.  Give me the fucking five or I'll tell mom."

"I don't have any fives because you already ripped them from my trembling hands two turns ago, you idiot asswipe."

"You know what? It's cool, though. You have to go through life being the ugly one, so keep your fucking five. You deserve it."

Ok, that's more the spirit of the conversation then the letter.

Really it's like this,

"Do you have a five?"

"Yes, but that is not fair. Do you have a six?"

"That's not fair! Yes!  Do you have a two?"

"It isn't fair to ask for my two!  You know I have a two because I asked you for one four turns ago, and now you asking me! Do you have a nine?"

"No fair!"

They keep using this phrase, and I do not think it means what they think it means.

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