Monday, November 8, 2010

I have lots of good ideas

I bought a pair of jeans on-line from Gap. When I got them and tried them on they fit really nicely, except for the extra foot of leg-length. I suppose I could chop them off, but I think the price of the jeans warranted perfection or return. Actually, the pants were called "Perfect-fit jeans," so I don't think I was being to hard on them.

Of course I let them sit around the house for weeks and weeks.

Then I noticed that returns must be made within 45 days. Yikes.

I printed out the pre-paid label and packaged the pants up and tried to drop them off at UPS.

But UPS is closed on Sunday.


So I head out with Lilly this morning before work. I walk up, full of confidence and do that thing where you stand around looking really confused when the door won't open. Like, "What ever could be wrong with this door?! I am tugging very mightily!"

Turns out they don't open until 9:00.

What the heck, UPS? I'm just trying to drop off a freakin package. Put a hole in your door or something. I don't even know what the point is of opening at 9:00. Who isn't at work by 9:00? If you want to catch the morning crowd, you have to open at 8:00, don't you think? And if you aren't worried about the morning crowd, why bother opening before 10?


But I couldn't wait around, so I decided that, given the timeline that was thisclose to rendering my pants valueless, I would risk leaving the package outside of the UPS door.

About a half an hour later, I look back at what I've done.

I've left a package. Unattended. In a public place. All mysterious-like.

That doesn't bother people these days, right?

I called (when they opened) and explained to the UPS lady that I had left a package outside and I wanted her to know it wasn't a terrorist bomb, just pants.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Last week Lilly started doing this thing where she'd wake up for her middle-of-the-night feeding (which she should have outgrown at this point, but whatever, I'm a flexible, accommodating, loving mother so that's okay, no hard feelings), eat until she fell asleep and I put her back in her crib, and WAKE UP TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

Which is just long enough for me to have fallen back asleep.

For the first week or so, I got her back up, nursed her again, and she would go back to sleep for serious.

And then I was like, "screw that."

I mean, that's completely unnecessary. If you are hungry, eat. If you are tired, sleep. I don't want to be up at ALL, let alone be up and being yanked around by a fickle BABY.

Pickle babies? They should make small pickles and call them that.


So I instituted a no-going-to-sleep-and-then-getting-back-up-twenty-minutes-later policy.

Which resulted in a LOT of screaming.

Which Chris did not really appreciate. As he was unaware of her previous irritating nighttime habits, her new, loud, nighttime habits seemed a distinct downturn of events to him.

But, WHATEVER, man. I'm not dealing with that crap anymore. She's a grown-ass baby. She'll learn.

So we had five nights of battling.

She did not learn.

Last night, she woke up to eat at 3:00. I fed her, she fell asleep, I put her back in her crib. I sat down in bed, but did not lie down because I was trying not to be woken up by her imminent screaming. I fell asleep sitting up (ow). She woke up at 3:20. I got her up, fed her again and she went back to sleep for serious.

I felt great about the lack of sustained screaming.

Until I realized that she TOTALLY WON.

I'm a little scared of this child.

I think she's trying to take over the world.


  1. So...did the package get to the Gap?

  2. Well, the UPS people went and picked it up. Assuming we squeak in under the time limit, I think we'll be okay.