Thursday, July 22, 2010


Sometime I feel like the house is taking over. That, as much as I try, I am fighting a losing battle against the chaos that wants to consume my residence. That every surface, every room, every square inch, is sticky or stinky or gritty or greasy.

It's especially bad in the summer. The heat seems to be simmering our garbage and melting our furniture. And there are flies. And ants. I'm not scared of flies or ants or spiders, but in a festering pit of hot Hagesfeld house, they just make everything that much grosser.

Also, I'm perpetually afraid of mice, because we have had them a few times in the past and knowing there are rodents here makes me want to leave the house and move to Antarctica where mice and ants and flies can't live and the only infestation would be penguins and, really, that would be kind of cute.

At least our ants are teeny-tiny and you can't really see them. What you don't see can't bother you, right? Still, we set out ant baits to try to curb them.

Anyway, the other day I saw a couple of tiny piles of teeny black things under our coat tree. AH! AH! Mouse turds! But, actually, they didn't really look like mouse turds. Probably just the ants make a little tiny snack bar. So we dust busted them up and went about our day.

But I just looked, and DUHN DUHN DUHN, there was another little pile of mouse turd-looking things. So I decided I needed to take a closer look so I could figure out what we were facing, thus ascertaining the best way to kill it.

So I get down on the ground and look at the pile up close and . . .


Not really.

But seriously, the truth is a little gross.

It is a tiny mound of dead ants from the spider that has built a web in the bottom of our coat tree.

Poor little sucked-dry ant cocoons.

Now the question is, what do I do? I don't like the ants. And the spider is very little and not scary and is eating the ants I don't like.

But little piles of ant corpses aren't very tidy either, and given the ant supply around here, it is possible that the spider could grow big enough to ask me to rub its eight feet and draw it a warm bath.

So, kill the spider, and leave the ant population to scamper around unchecked? Or leave the spider and just basically admit that the house is now a wilderness preserve?


  1. A) Kill the spider. The ant traps really do work.

    B) I am so with you on the ants, and especially the flies. The flies make me feel even dirtier than I am.

  2. Flies are so gross. Flies make me insane. Why are the so loud? Why do they want to be near my head. I wouldn't have to kill them so dead if they would just be more quiet and less near my head. But they just fly around saying, "buuuuuuurrrzzzzzyourhouseislikearottingcorpsezzzzzzzzz"