Monday, September 20, 2010

It occurs to me that I should stop referencing my boring life.

Because if I know the cosmos (and I DO) that's going to get me a ticket to middle-of-the-night barf faster than I can say, "I wonder what spaghetti tastes like mixed with stomach bile?"

What I really mean to say is not that I am bored by my life, because I'm not, but, rather, that I imagine everyone ELSE is bored by my life.

There has been a dearth of funny things happening to me.

I can tell you however, that it is NOT a good idea to try to refinance through Quicken Loans unless you ENJOY being yelled at like a naughty nine-year-old who has both angered and disappointed her parents.

Seriously, Quicken, this is AMERICA. And I am a GROWN ASS WOMAN. And I am MIDDLE-CLASS. The tactics you are using may work with children who are chronic underachievers, who need to be "scared straight," or, you know, the underprivileged, who are used to being pushed around, but I am WHITE, and I am used to a certain amount of DEFERENCE.

I wonder if they would have talked the same way to a man. I wonder why they find this to be an acceptable/successful approach. All I am is sure that I don't want to do business with them. I got off the phone and I felt angry and embarrassed. That they acted that way, and I, generally speaking, let them. I wish I had had the balls to give them what for.


I'm composing useless speeches in my head.

It reminds me of a post from long ago, that I would link to if I knew how, about State Farm's hard sell approach to selling me life insurance.

I hate places that do business that way.

It convinces me that the product does not sell itself.

BTW - I don't really think I deserve respect because I'm white. That was a joke about white privilege. White privilege is funny stuff.


  1. Dear Dan Gilbert,

    Did you try an keep Lebron with these tactics? I am glad he left you. No Cavs games for us this year! (HA! that implies Beth would go to a sporting event.)



  2. For you, the link:

    And the phrase "Vampires always go over their minutes" will definitely be a line in my next hit single.