I had to staff an event for work last weekend at the Indians baseball game. Because it was going to be a long event, Chris agreed to bring the boys and hang out at the game while I worked.
Driving there, he spotted (and snagged), "Like, the fourth best possible parking spot."
This should not imply to anyone that the spot was actually convenient to our destination.
So set out on our journey with heavy boxes and trailing children and it's very hot and super crowded and we've been walking forever. Chris is in a ZONE. A leading-the-way, I-WILL-find-you, ZONE.
We get off the elevator that means we are almost there, but it is still crowded and the boxes are still heavy and the children are still trailing. And in the lobby right in front of the door, I see that someone has left two GIANT stuffed snakes.
Except, no, not stuffed. Moving. Real, live, moving, capable-of-eating-a-toddler sized snakes. Giant Pythons (actual name) from the zoo.
And you know, I wasn't scared of them. I wasn't scared for my kids. My first, instant, flash-of-insight thought, was:
"STOP CHRIS FAST NOW OR HE WILL SQUISH THE SNAKES."
Because we all know that Chris would never notice something as inconsequential as two Giant Pythons (one's an albino!) on the ground, right?
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This is similar to many of my nightmares, only I drop the crap and run. Maddie has to fend for herself against the snakes because Vern is too busy having a bromance with Chris on the phone to realize his one and only daughter is about to turn into a Maddie-shaped lump inside a snake.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about people with snake phobias! Because it is relatively common, right? So it would seem that you might cause some problems just plunking a couple of giant pythons down in the middle of a random hallway.
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