Had a conversation this weekend about the time I told Chris that if he didn't want to get married he had to move out of my house and whether that was an "Ultimatum."
I don't like the term,or at least as it is applied to women who have the audacity to think they have a say in their future rather than just waiting around until the man they love either proposes or they die.
We were in the country with no smart phones working so we were left searching our own brains for a definition, which we though was something like, "you have to do this or else."
But isn't that just, like, life? Isn't that just every choice you make?
You will buy this cake OR YOU WILL HAVE NO CAKE.
You will do some work OR YOU WILL HAVE NO JOB.
You will do some laundry OR YOU WILL HAVE NO PANTS.
Life is just full of choices, but nobody gets all mad when women make choices. I think men just get mad when they have to do shit, like put on pants and buy cake.
Also, I looked the the definition of ultimatum - turns out it is more of a "final choice, bad consequences, negotiations hence-forth over" kind of thing. So I guess I kind of did give him an ultimatum. But I think I used a kind voice and gentle words.
Take home lesson? Never have a discussion without a smart phone around.
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Life is full of ultimata, it's just a matter of degrees. "Cake or no cake" is really a pretty small matter compared to "Beth or no Beth." And giving an ultimatum isn't a bad thing. Sometimes folks need a little kick in the pants to do what's best for them.
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