Thursday, September 17, 2009

It has a head, but no penis. Yet.

So, it looks like everybody who reads this has figured out that I'm pregnant. With Satan, apparently.

Had my first doctor's appointment this morning. He did an ultrasound so I actually got to see that it was a for-real baby, and not a tumor or something like that. It has a head and two legs and two arms that it was waving. Crazy. Nine weeks along, the size of a grape, and the thing was moving around. PEOPLE, LIFE IS A MIRACLE.

Just thought I'd throw a little original, profound, thought your way today, guys.

Anyway, I lied about dates so that he would push the due date back a week to increase my chances of a VBAC, but these fancy ultrasound machines are now smarter than people. Honestly, I don't even know why they asked because he frowned a bit, double-checked and was all, "Well, my measurements here indicate that you are 9 weeks, 3 days. Or thereabouts." Jimminy Cricket that is SPOT ON. Who knew they could measure that closely? So my lying was for naught.

Also, he could not have cared less about my morning sickness unless he, himself, had morning sickness this bad and knew what it was like to really not care about anything. He suggested I stop eating and start drinking more water. What the hell kind of advice is that? He recommended I stop eating until I feel better, but I believe that would be about three weeks from now (please, god) and by then I would be dead of not eating.

So he was over an hour late to the appointment, caught me lying, and didn't care one whit about my morning sickness WHICH IS SAPPING MY WILL TO LIVE. But he is, theoretically, cool with me trying for a VBAC so it wasn't a total failure.

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