Sunday, August 12, 2012

Let's just go for gold in mediocrity.

If I've learned one thing from watching the Olympics so far it's that I don't ever want one of my kids to be there.

I mean, Jiminey Christmas, how stressful does all that look?  I can barely watch and I don't know any of these people from Adam.  

Don't get me wrong.  The Olympics are awesome and I sure do appreciate that they work so hard to entertain me for two weeks once every four years.  That's super nice of them.  But watching them actually just makes me kind of sad.

Best case scenario is that they win.  But then it's still over, you know?  They still probably have to cope with what what happens to their life after the goal they've been striving toward for their entire lives is just . . . over.  And what if they fail?  Their life was kind of a waste, no?


Let's never experience that.

Plus, let's be honest, those events are of no practical use.  This is not a life skill they are practicing.  You could make anything an Olympic sport and there would be somebody who'd be hella good at it.  But we're not talking things like the "Dinner-making-for-five-people" event (They also have a 2 person and 10 person event).  This is stuff like, "Wow, you sure did jump really far."  In ten years, who are you impressing with that besides 4-year-olds?  In real life nobody cares about far-jumping except little kids.  You can't get a job with that!

Do you hear the way these athletes talk about their families, though?  "I couldn't have done this without my mom."  "My dad drove me to the gym every morning at 4:00am."  "My family moved to Ypsilanti for my training."  "We sold our house to pay for my coach."  Really?  None of that sounds like fun to me.  And that's even assuming they would go and win or something.  You know damn well that most of these kids don't even make the Olympic team.  Then you are just a homeless family in Ypsilanti with a kid who is pretty good at the pommel horse.

So I've decided I'm just going to stifle any sparks of greatness my kids might show.  Just go read a book.

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