Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Post. Humously.

Have you ever had the, "who gets the kids if we die" discussion?

You should, it's important.

You have to think about what it would do to the lives of the person you leave them to, but also where the kids would be happy.

So, just FYI, we're leaving the kids to the babysitter.

Because, to be honest, they like the babysitter more than us.

Maybe it's because she has voice immodulation disorder such that she can't speak above a soothing whisper.  Perhaps it's because she seems to actually enjoy playing card games with the kids.  Or it could be because they think her name is Cake.  Whatever the case may be, they would leave us in a hot second for this woman.

She reports that after she spent the whole day with them, while she was tucking Sam into bed he told her it had been the best day ever.

"How come?" Kate asks.

"Because I got to spend all day with you," Sam answers.

What the hell, right?  I don't think Sam has ever said something that nice to me.  Also, while that story might have sounded braggy coming from someone else, Kate is INCAPABLE of bragging.

This weekend when we told the kids that she was coming Owen said, "I just wuv Cake.  She makes everysing fair."

Okay, hey now, she's not a magician.  I don't even know how you make things fair with three kids.  That's not EVEN POSSIBLE.

And Lilly?  My princess?  My best girl?  Well, the night Kate was here she put the kids to bed.  At 4:00 in the morning, Lilly woke up.


For Kate.

I mean, that's cool.  It's not like I housed your stupid fetus self.  

So, she's kind of the obvious choice to take the kids if we die.  You guys are just going to need to make sure she gets $15 an hour until the kids turn 18.

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