Saturday, August 8, 2009

Crap. Ooooh, maybe literally

Oh, man. Not to belabor the colon cleansing point, but this morning I was looking at the ads here and I thought, "That's a good point, Ad Number One, what DO I need to know about colon cleansing?" So I clicked on it.

I clicked on it.

I CLICKED on it.

And then I GASPED. Because I have have signed an agreement NOT to click on any of the links. But I just DID. I broke the LAW. And what's worse, now my word means nothing. I promise something, SIGN MY NAME to it (or click on the equivalent box) and then, oooooo, SPARKLY THING. Do not trust me. I am easily distracted.

But I figured once I had done the damage to my reputation by clicking I might as well read about it. And did you know that cleansing you colon can help you lose up to 10 pounds? I didn't. But while that sounds attractive in theory, I guess I'm more interested in losing actual fat. Still, this thing is supposed to help your tummy be flatter (that word is surprising close to fatter), increase your energy and decrease your chances of colon cancer. Did you know that Katie Couric had a colonoscopy on national TV? Apparently her husband died of colon cancer when their children were 2 and 4 and she's made it her mission to lesson the fear and stigma that surrounds colonoscopies.

1. Mad props to her, because I was still like, really? You did, um, THAT on national TV? But in response to her doing that there has been what is now known as the Couric effect (how awesome would that be?) where screenings went up twenty percent after she did that. She's SAVING LIVES MAN.

2. Chris apparently has some 6 months left before I make him go in for a colonoscopy because no way in hell is he going to leave me with a four year old and a two year old.

3. That was totally not Katie's point. She made a real effort to say that women are just as likely to be diagnosed with colon cancer. But I still don't want to get one. I am IMMUNE to the Couric Effect!

Learn something new everyday, doncha?

So, the party last night was okay after all. The children kept it together relatively well, considering. Until about 7:45 when Owen FELL APART. You know, I'm going to try really hard not to get mad at the kids anymore when they don't learn some rule even after endless repetition. So what if Sam can't remember to say please after nearly three days of constant reminders? We can't remember that Owen needs to be in bed on time and he's been reminding us his WHOLE LIFE.

But other than that, and Owen's freakish obsession with the water fountain, which would be one thing if he was tall enough to reach it himself, but he can't so you have to help, it was pretty fun. It was at the metro parks. Sam swung on the swings, and found a frog, and ate a hot dog and got to have HIS OWN CAN OF SODA. Owen mostly wandered around shrieking when a dog looked at him (which was relatively often given this is a PET INSURANCE COMPANY).

When we first got there, Chris's boss came up to me and Sam. She pointed out the drinks area, educating me about the beer that I would need to put in a plastic cup, and that there were plenty of drinks for kids, too. I said to Sam, "Hey, do you want to go check out the drinks?" And he said,

"Yeah. I think I would like some wine."

1 comment:

  1. yeah, being that I rarely ever hear sam say anything, his asking for "wine" was funny. I thought I heard him wrong until you posted it.

    your kids were good. I'm always telling sean that your kids are really cute, and he got to see them finally. even if owen did totally melt down, at least he held it together until he couldn't stand it anymore.

    and I don't blame him one bit.