Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Fun for the whole family!

I thought it was time for a new blog posting. Mostly because the advertising had become disturbing. Apparently, these fancy advertising programs scanned my last post and honed in on the sentence about not pooping for days. Suddenly, I was learning more about colon cleansings than I ever wanted to. Including that you can get them for your kids. You know, make it family bonding time. But really? Out of the whole thing, they thought that was most relevant? Is that what you guys got out of it? "Blah blah blah, oh gross she's talking about poop"? Because that was not my point.

Oh, man. Now I've mentioned poop twice. Well, three times including that last one there. They are going to have a field day with that. Now there will be advertisement for adult diapers and Imodium AD and Ex lax. BLAST! I'm only encouraging them with my words!! Butterflies! Fairies! Rainbows! Stardust and Barbies and Ballerinas!

Anywho . . .

Jury duty. Man. Not cut out for that shit. We found the guy guilty, and there was pretty strong agreement in the jury so it certainly wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I DWELLED. Or DWELT. Whichever. Getting back into the routine of my regular life helped ease the crazy stuck-in-a-movie feeling I'd been having. Because, you know, in my regular life, I don't see pictures of dead, shot-up, people. I don't look at guns. I don't hear forensic testimony. I don't actually hear testimony at all. Mostly I'm used to mailing letters and filing papers. This was a stretch and was causing my brain some problems. Confusing in the same way that I imagine it would be if a pixie rode up on a unicorn, suggesting we go on a quest for the lost marble of Zemo. Seriously, I was living the kind of thing I'd only ever seen on TV and it felt REALLY WEIRD. Remind me never to be friends with a criminal defense attorney because they see some fucked up things in the normal course of their day. That has to have an effect on you.

When I got back to work I asked what I'd missed. Everybody was all, "oh, nothing." Which is exhibit A (weird. In the trial exhibits were numbered, not lettered, but exhibit 1 just sounds wrong) for why you should not trust people to remember anything. I missed a party where we gave the guest of honor tuna (what's that about? I don't know. I wasn't there.). I missed a coworker going through the nightmare of having a child in the hospital, in agonizing pain, undiagnosed - then finally diagnosed with meningitis. I also missed harvesting my potato crop in Facebook Farm Town. Jury duty was very isolating.

Last night, my sister invited us over for homemade fried chicken. Sam usually LOVES to visit them so I thought it was a little weird that when I told him our plans he just got really quiet. A few minutes later he said, "Mama?"

"What's up Sam?"

"But I don't want flies on my chicken."

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