Monday, August 10, 2009

I will resist you, penile implants!!!

Junky email. Is there anything more irritating? I guess the thing that gets me is that they just don't give up. I consistently get junk emails about things I'm just never going to be interested in. Penile implants, for example.

It's like they think I'm going to give in. That these emails, in sufficiant volume, will wear me down. That the only thing standing between them and sucess is a few dozen more email attempts. That eventually I will tire of resisting the lure of working from home for $500 an hour and finally sign up so I can be the stay-at-home-mom my kids deserve. I want to email them back and let them know that I am not now, nor will I ever be, interested in answering questionnaires, even at a payment rate of $1000 per.

Especially at the payment rate of $1000 per.

Because I am NOT STUPID.

I think they might actually have a better chance if they were a little less ridiculous. What's that? I've been chosen to receive a $1500 Walmart gift card?! That's awesome! WHAT?! I'm also eligible for a free LAP TOP COMPUTER?! What an amazing day!

"Chosen" is the word that, for me, translates to "this is a complete rip-off." I've never been chosen for anything in my life and I'm pretty sure that it's not going to start with Walmart. If they sent me an email that said, "you and everybody else and their moms can all have this $1.00 off coupon for peanut butter," I might actually believe it.

It would be hilarious if one of these days I did win something legit and I just kept erasing the notification. Have any of you readers ever legitimately been "chosen?" Because I think it would be smart - just to keep us on our toes - to make those preposterous emails true every once in a while.

Apparently, though, enough people fall for them as is.

In other news: NO, we don't give Sam WINE at home.

1 comment:

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