Oh, Sam.

This is about Sam, my son, not Sam our new follower.

Sheesh, this is confusing.

Recently, Chris and I have become a little uncomfortable with the quality of our daycare. It's fine. But only fine. And, lord, the ATTITUDE they are learning.

Because my children would NEVER behave this way of their own accord.

As it happens, I drove past a school the other day and decided to check it out.

And, guys, this is the kind of daycare I imagined for my kids. The kind that is BETTER than the care I would provide if I were a stay-at-home mom.

I love this place like I've never loved a school I've toured.

It is more expensive, but I think it is so good that it is worth the money.

Which is not to say that we HAVE the money.

It is a Montessori-style school, which in this setting mostly seems to mean the kids get to wander around and play with educational stuff. There are lots of activities, many of which seem to be cleverly disguised household chores. And by cleverly disguised I guess I mean they don't call it a "chore."

There was a kid mopping the floor. A kid watering the plants. A kid getting snack ready. A kid wiping tables. And they all acted like it was fun!

I'm not kidding, there was a kid ironing. With a for-real iron. It seemed weird. But it could totally come in handy, right? In fact, I think they should get a washer/dryer and I'd just send the laundry along.

They also had a "hand washing station," which was not a place to go wash your hands before lunch. It was a place to wash your hands FOR FUN. Or LEARNING. That also seemed weird to me, but when I thought about it, and the number of times a day I have to tell Sam and Owen to STOP WASHING YOUR HANDS, it actually seemed kind of clever.

The thing is, they only have a spot for one kid right now. So they don't have a spot for both boys.

Actually, they are currently INTERVIEWING kids for the slot. That's right. They don't let just ANY kid in here.

We decided to take Sam. I'm not concerned about the interview. I find Sam charming.

Who doesn't, am I right!?

So we walk in. And Sam is not just nervous. He is absolutely paralyze with fear. He won't talk, won't make eye contact, won't move, won't respond to anything. He's totally catatonic.

This is going well.

It was so bad that for a minute I thought we were just going to have to leave.

But after a little bit he managed to pull himself together. He was still reserved, but now noticeably human.

As we settle in, Sam starts hanging with this girl Jemma. They play some blocks. The teacher wonders over to observe Sam.

Things are looking up. Sam's settling in. He mentions that his "mom has milk in her big belly!"

Sam is so proud of me.

But, boy, when Jemma brings out the rhyming cards, Sam really starts to warm up. Sam loves rhyming. See, they ARE learning something in his daycare!

The rhyming cards are cards that have pictures of different objects on them, and two of them rhyme with each other, and you're supposed to match them together. Like a picture of a school and a picture of a pool would go together.

The thing is, this is clearly old hat to Jemma, and she starts matching the cards before Sam even really gets to look at them.

So, in an effort to join in, Sam starts shouting out words that rhyme with any picture he sees.

"TREE, SLEE, BLEE!"

He's being a little loud here, and I hope that they will understand that Sam is used to functioning in a MUCH louder environment.

"SUN, MUN, PLUN!"

Apparently we have neglected to concentrate on rhyming ACTUAL words.

"BEE, PEE!"

Understanding this age group's adoration of potty humor, and knowing that Sam was not being intentional here, and also knowing that if the kids start laughing at Sam right now he will be devastated, I hold my breath for a minute. But it passes without notice.

"SHOE . . . PLUE!"

I'm idly noticing that we seem fixated on the P's here, when:

"HORN . . . PORN!"

I wonder what that card looks like.